One day

One day I'm going to fall in love, foolishly but for all the right reasons and the person I love will love me -- selflessly, perfectly
The way you never would

She will look me in the eye and I will know that the sounds forming between her lips are merely the cherry atop the whipped cream of her actions
Those words will shape my heart, my life, my present and my future
Into the shape of happiness
You know, that round block you thought fit into the square peg

I'll know that every time our eyes meet she won't be searching mine to see if I recognize the person in front of me
We will be the reflection of honesty and devotion in one another

One day I'll hold hands, watch movies and laugh until my stomach hurts with someone who knows me as well as she knows herself because we live for today
And are grateful for tomorrow
Our dreams are whispers between cool sheets and rustles of morning blankets

Sweet kisses on foreheads and I want you's that linger in a quick glance
This is love? This is love.
Hands that search for the small in her back then gently glide and wrap around her waist
I adore her every inch, every atom of her being
She completes me

One day

Untitled

Stuck at the corner of “I’ll change” and “I didn’t mean to hurt you”

I’m running late for the best thing that ever happened to me

Getting over you

Another detour 

It’s as if I’m meant to be reminded 

That you’re not interested in loving me
Even though my heart is set on being the best part of you
I’ve crashed head first into denial

And the “I love you’s” sound brand new

Untitled

I love you
Fell like shards of glass onto linoleum
Cracked pieces scattered everywhere so the truth could not be recovered
Picking up my heart again with a dustpan and a broom
Stooped low towards the ground listening to the melody of heartache
Smash against reality
Sometimes it's not worth knowing the words to the same song
If you'll only burrow inside the sound to escape
Chastising myself and taking a vow of silence from the L word
The capacity to succumb reduced with my feet firmly planted on the ground
I'd rather stand alone than fall and break
There's only so much of me left

Untitled

Words float on the edge of bubbles at the bottom of this bottle
Shipwrecked from my heart they've wandered aimlessly into the unknown
Numbing sadness hits my tastebuds in splashes and the sweet flavor of honesty is like an awakening
I'm born again there, tabula rasa
And you've been reduced to the fine dust left behind from the eraser
I'm ready to forget

Give. Thanks.

Thanks?

Give back what weathered hands, twisted backs and songs of redemption lay as the foundation to your stolen empire

A country built with feet on the backs of earth toned skin, so many times

That history is like a record stuck on the same song

Even though everyone selectively forgets the words

And man made illness fittingly will suffice to kill the rest

Blood continues to spill and overflow as they pretend not to feel it splash upon their wrists

It’s not as if any cultural compassion has ever existed outside of the wonder bread variety

Bleached skin, synthetic hair, contacts, erase the identity psychologically so that each time those broken spirits see their skin they curse & blame

They curse & stain

While the oppressor lays in a box and cooks, as if in an oven,
Set to 350, bake for an hour and let cool

Instant results without the minority component, privilege still intact

You are the face you seek to erase, for a price

To look like those they persecute, because they envy

Envy the beauty of brownness, depth, full lips, rounded hips and souls that have carried the weight of hate like battle wounds for centuries

They’ll never be as strong as those they seek to destroy so teaching self-hate is the greatest weapon they have
It’s the most effective

And each day, a country that stands behind the power to eliminate at the expense of their Swiss cheese conscience,
Swiss bank account transactions pending, could care less

About the deeds and wealth accumulated by the destruction of native peoples

Is another day lost

Land taken, redistributed and designated as “their”promised land

Blood money no longer passes hands

But hits accounts on a given date

And in hushed tones others speak of the societal rape

This land was our land, this land was not made for you and me

Don’t suit the lyrics to your history book lies

In attempts to solidify the world’s greatest lies

Nothing was discovered and no one ever needed to be transported by boat, head to foot, foot to head

As body excrements fell at the same speed of tears

On other brown bodies in fear

No legal documents written by the hands of slave owners, clothes made from cotton picked with my ancestors' hands, food produced and consumed at the expense of their freedom

Will not ever reek of entitlement’s stench

It’s filthy and morally defunct

The rungs of hope are hot like coal and burn flesh to the touch
See these ancestors rise yet again to smell the burning of their ambition

.saturate.

Saturate my present with memories of your past and leave my future dry
I'm building a dam to keep what's behind us out
Current love pending with creation of a foundation that can
Withstand the red ink, yellow tape and glaringly obvious stench of moral decay
The most beautiful part of a damaged wing is that it's still struggling to fly
Save me as I save you

untitled

false truths fall faster from your lips
than I love you can hide behind my eyes
the speed of fear and love at the intersection
of reality
chasing you like a thief in the night
you’ve stolen my heart and run away with it
too afraid to stay and let it beat inside the palms
of your hands
so
you squeeze, I’m without breath, air
i’m starved for your affection
and alive merely by the will to eat

Counting Sheep

Breathing in rhythms of pain and loss,
Love lays over me like a tattered sheet on a brisk night
Everything exposed to the elements of harsh reality; you're never coming back
Legs tangle, arms fold & unfold
Eyelids flutter endlessly in an attempt to will the darkness to bring comfort
To bring some sort of solace to the groove where
My heart used to be
Sunken memories between sheets and pillows smell of yesterday's passion
I'm
Caught in sensory overload and standing on the edge of madness
I'm
Awake
Troubled by the empty thud banging against my ribs and drumming as if some ancient ritual of self infliction
Would bring you, my lover, back into my arms
Back into those cool summer nights, a mess of brown skin, arms that found their way in slumber
Around waists and traced designs on hips and curves that became a roadmap of love within each journey
Lips that warmed, slightly opened and the sound of air escaping between them reminds love that the distance is merely inches from your grasp
And eyes opened to stare, fingers ran blindly, yet so aware over those lips
And remember the first time they met,
The first time that something greater than sleep with the ability to render bliss
Became a way of life
I'm
Lost again in yesterday's want, mixed with the desire to learn you again, ceiling twisting and cracking as pieces fall onto my face
I've never been good at counting sheep

.Click.

Fake friends, fake lives, fake pictures, fake eyes. A generation of photoshopped, cut & pasted lies.

Would they know a laugh if they heard it or does “lol” just suffice?

Real fingers touch skin, lips kiss corners & crevices of bodies that
That keyboards can’t touch, no matter how many strokes
 And with a click you’re forgotten

Love becomes a quote, a phrase, lyrics in angst from misunderstood songs and displaced anger becomes lines of white haste swiftly relocating to nasal cavities, deteriorating from the inside out

Souls inside out

Ripped clean from the hinges of innocence 

Dangling arms and legs, strings that guide and overseeing hands tangled in their provocative ties

There’s no limit even after the edge of the cliff when nothing is beneath their feet but air, because society assures them that to pretend is to care

Fighting for nothing and dying for everything but the will to live, these young soldiers thrown into battle unprepared for the war on their minds as a means to their core

Swept under the rug of misfortune,

Misfits miss this and sequential hits to the possibilities of a socially conscious lift

They’re pinned down by their ears

And dumbed by the slicing of their tongues

Language is the barrier to knowing more


But the men on our currency fold and line pockets that disintegrate the keys to that door

Love's Labryinth

Talking until my lips turn blue
Cold air passing between them
Landing anywhere but near your ears
You don't hear me

It's as if the audio on your heart has turned down the logic in you mind and things are scrambled, jumbled and ready to topple over at a moments notice
You're unstable, like a house built without a foundation
You will never be home.

My thoughts fold like origami and try to make sense of the person before me
Layers of something with an end product of hidden chambers, interlocking bits & pieces
How did we get here? Love's labyrinth

I've lost you and myself in the process
Chasing your insecurities like thieves in the night
Wanting you whole was my only crime
Yet I've been sentenced to life without reciprocity

So my hearts stops banging inside my chest and splits into two,
every memory, moment and passion begins to spill out
And stain the walls of my body
I'm missing again

Party of One

You've thrown yourself a party again,
but the only one that RSVP'd is you

Balloons, streamers, party favors & hats. This time you were going big, you said. Party for one?
One.

The only number you can count to since no one else ever seems to exist.

Love is a one man show for you. You flirt, get your own number & forget to call.
You suck at even picking yourself up & following through on a date.

Those nights tossing in between sheets, welcoming your own demons and fighting angels that sought to heal your soul
Suffering is what you do best

So weeks turn to months, years & you wonder what became of that old love you buried on a cold New England day.

It's sprung forth from soil without water, little to no sunlight & an environment of solitude where barely anything can grow,
& became a blossoming tree, beside another tree
that grew from one of its seeds
you see
love has a way of breaking through the toughest misery

Still having parties with only one in attendance while
love blossoms outside your window
all you can do is stare, alone
& watch it become everything
you will never be

-untitled-

Falling out of love is like hearing drops of your soul hit the corners of a metal tin can, a quick splash here & there,
The echoes of loneliness like a hollow drum, beating a rhythm only tears can hear
The sound of pain, the way it reflects & slides down into every corner, every crevice & dries
It's as if it was never there
But the taste of salt still lies on fingertips,
That captured them from eyes, moist with regret
Love once was held there in stolen moments, nights of passion & kisses that lingered in hidden places
Bruises of love's faults left just beneath the surface
Of a heart that beats no more

.change.

You've counted me out,
counted me in,
pennied, nickeled & dimed me
I'm the only change you'll never spend
Smooth rounded corners of my existence hitting the fabric in your pockets
I'm forgotten & just cents
even if when we are alone you put me in your palm and it makes sense
I'm metal & you're flesh
I withstand extreme heat or cold without shelter & survive with little to nothing, but I'm strong
You are easily cut, bruised and scarred without repair...remnants of your history blemish the very hands you hold me in.
Let me go, let me know
The way it feels to be more than
an afterthought when the kinds that folds in artificial bliss
is a distant memory
& you realize you still have change
Left waiting but you'd rather stay the same
Being broke indefinitely

.expectations.

expectations
the root of all disappointments
and i've pulled you from the ground,
your leaves and stem
earthy and full of promise
the actual fruit of my labors
shriveled and sunken in
the palms of my calloused hands
betraying their age with lines of despair
the struggle
between love, life and
the belief in truth
when the sky is made of angry clouds
thunder like praise
and eyes are like mirrors so that all you see
is yourself
when you're being lied to
so you believe
in your truth
while chameleons color their hearts
with your strength
hide their weakness between shades of gray
it's raining again

.lost lovers.

Say you’re misunderstood but what’s confusing is that your words are like the hard coating on your actions
Unbreakable yet so hurtful
So you crave the closeness of two lovers lost at the end of each others’ sentences
But you’re more like the period at the end; content beads up like perspiration off the skin of your lies
Your eyes
Deep hollow and rounded at the tips
I swear they were made for destruction
Yet you claim you want peace rather than war even though your heart is covered in a bullet proof vest
I stopped looking for hints of me in your smile because, your reasons for happiness left right along with them
I listened as your footsteps grew further away with each sound, each beat of your heart like a low rumble of a drum
I’m no musician but it sounded like the death of passion on pavement

untitled

Broken steps, cracked by the pressure of dreams deferred
Tangled mess of red, white & blue
hung like a noose around the
necks of brown-skinned girls and boys
Brown will eventually turn blue, cold
& potential wasted will
cross the lips and hushed tongues
in the shadows where poverty’s bounced checks are written by the hour
on depleted funds in accounts with names unrecognizable, skin color undeniable
We were never meant to thrive
Institutional oppression, big words that carry the fate of the world on a silver platter, high in the clouds out of justice’s reach
because the notion of justice has been color tweaked
So the world within our minds & hearts becomes a battle zone fraught with fear and protective intentions,
distractions from accomplishments with survival as the means to an end
but it never ends
And faces begin to look real familiar behind glass walls, bars, at desks & on paperwork done with
ink of lost souls, each page more saturated than the next with
societal lies & hatred
We wrote the books on lives unlived with the pain of our silent scars
etched in backs, arms & legs
tortured for centuries by colorless beings who can’t see through our skin to reach our worth

.abbreviate.

i've learned to abbreviate
the way my heart feels each time you cut a piece off
and put it in your pocket, for safe keeping you say
but i never see it again
and the hole left bleeds until it dries
forms a scar
and then you return
for another peace of me
f.o. (fuck off)

'You Can Be Right' investigates modern love and marriage

'You Can Be Right' investigates modern love and marriage

untitled

remember the days before lost lovers words were left hanging
like ashes on the end of a burning cigarette
between lips
expectant of what tomorrow would bring
we’ve traced these lines time and time again
yet the picture remains the same sketch of misery
so we dance
bodies disjointed and fragmented between torso and head
we’ve come undone

.thoughts.

You make me feel attractive from the outside-in again. It's been so long since I've felt appreciated or desired. It's like I've been wasting away, my roots planted firmly in love but no water to nourish the part of me that grows above ground. Then came you...

.fraud.

You're a fraud, you
Tiptoe through hearts where locks were left unturned & steal what wasn't yours to take

You leave muddy footprints & smudged finger swirls upon every thing within your path, you're arrogant

So arrogant that you permanent mark your desire to disrespect on the lips of lovers & in between the sheets of other frauds you seek to compete with

Your eyes bore holes & store information in the form
of facial explanation so at a moment's
notice you can recall & reformat data to do your life's work of being something to someone, anyone
Who will listen or who won't but you want them to

You're lost in a translucent web of emotional destruction on the brink of no tomorrow because your selfishness has sucked today dry

Others are just resources to replenish your empty soul, but it still has that gaping hole --- it all falls through you, it's not you or yours to keep

You're a fraud, you
Tiptoe through hearts where locks were left unturned & steal what wasn't yours to take

I've come for my things

I hate the internet

Really? Every relationship, every moment, every thought, every idea of who you "are" is based on the internet. In fact, if I could post this in a newspaper and thought it might even be seen, I would. Instead I'll settle for the fact the maybe one or two people may read this because I'm not half naked perpetrating to get attention. Where are all the real people? Do they even exist anymore? Or is it all just a show to prove who can outdo who? The funny thing is more than half of the people who spend 23.5 hours on the internet are boring, anti social, lonely, awkward people who use the internet to bully people while posting pictures as if they run shit. I'm over it. I'm over the hype & the b.s. I want to meet real people with real thoughts who do real things. Just recently I met a handful of real people and it was like learning to breathe again because I'm so tired of being around/near people who are always trying to compete and be cool. It's so disgusting and pathetic. Like whatever happened to being who you are and that being enough? Now you need the right hair, right eyes, right hair color, right phone, right extracurricular activities -- gotta be seen at the right events hanging with the "right" people. All of it is such a turn off and I feel like the people that are real are becoming extinct. You can't even date people anymore who aren't competing with you. Lame.As.Fuck.

fck it.

When your heart becomes something to be played with rather than something to have, hold, cherish & protect.
When your heart becomes a punching bag, beaten every day at the gym, used for someone else's frustrations & then left in the darkness.
When your heart become a pile of flattened rubber like tire caught on a nail.
When your heart becomes a joke, a reason for stand up, an attraction at parties, an object for entertainment at your expense.
When your heart becomes like grains of sand falling between the fingertips of someone as quickly as their memory of you fades.
When your heart becomes a non factor

.canvas.

Lying here I close my eyes and imagine the tips of your fingers grazing my skin
Then gently rub up and down my arms while you place light kisses into my collar bone
The sweetest spot you can't leave alone
So I can't help but moan
And feel the throb between my legs grow
Your tongue starts to draw circles around my nipples and I part my lips
Wetting them
As your hunger for me grows
The heat from your body turns to
Small beads of excited moisture against your forehead
I
Wipe your hair from your face and then wrap your hair between my fingers pulling you closer
You gasp then gently tug at my nipples with your teeth
I growl in a sensual frenzy
My mouth dry as you feast upon my body
Your nails dig into my thighs
Pulling them apart
A thirst of your own has revealed your want
I rise my hips up to meet your lips
Slowly teasing up and down
I wait for your reaction
As you wrap my legs around your neck
And your tongue plunges deep inside to taste my nectar
I close my eyes and feel every part of me start to tingle from the inside out
You always find that spot that takes me outside of my body & lifts me into the clouds
I'm high
And drunk off this
Passionate love making
Breath taking
I forget to breathe but your lungs work for me
I'm one with you again
As you peel back each layer of me
Until I can't hide from you anymore
One more touch, one more taste
I'm overflowing from the inside out
My body shakes and my fingers loosen their grip on your hair
You let my whimpers guide your last strokes
I was your canvas

mind.sex.

I want to make love to her mind
Without touching her skin
Her body alive & wet beneath my fingertips, not touching
But hovering above the very soul
Of her existence
Exploring
My lips inches from her ears
Travel down the nape of her neck
Whispers that
Caress, kiss & soothe
Her mouth opened slight moans escape
& catch in her throat
I grab each sound & wrap it around my tongue
Teeth pressed against it
I breathe in her sounds
As if I could live off of each second
That she inhales
Layered intensity, I've climbed each
Mountain shes placed before me
Each peak nestled in chocolate & quivering beneath each word
Taste my passion and nestle in my thirst
I'm captivated & sinking into the depths of your waters
While standing on the shore
I'm waiting for you to meet halfway
So exhale

[untitled]

Save me as
I'm falling, faster and further from
a place I thought I'd never be
in a dream from which I seem to never wake
my mind wraps itself around your thoughts
as if sealing your wounds with me could heal

I'm pushing my way into your soul,
with every glance
every word formed between my lips
every word waiting on on the edge of my tongue
I'm but a breath waiting to be exhaled
the release, a reprieve from the silent cries
that are mourned when the sun dips into the horizon
and night drapes like a cloak over your heart

Caught in a moment between yesterday
today and tomorrow
I'm hanging by strings that I never saw
attached to my limbs
jerky movements & stiff obscurity
holding you, holding me
we're being held together by something
more powerful than each other

I'm pulling you inside of me
verbs, adjectives, and nouns
beautiful being
I've claimed you as my person, place or thing
I'm missing
I'm missing
you're moving faster than I can conjugate
I'm learning a language
I know I'll never speak

But silence is mine
as are you wthin the confines
of these letters
these words
this passion
and I've fallen
there is nothing to it
I lay cracked at your feet, in pieces
in peace says
shattered bliss

"the cab ride"

outside the cab window the city lights sparkled like jewels that had been stuck into the night sky as the scenery whizzed by, only stopping to give a moment less blurred at an occasional red light. i felt hot air against my cheek as i turned to see the door open. she climbed in beside me and immediately the sweet scent of her filled the air and made me dizzy with desire. her lips parted to tell the driver her destination but it sounded like background noise as i eyed her from head to toe. her lips were lush and probably the most delicious part of her face besides her eyes, those seductive big brown eyes. she turned to me as the cab moved forward hugging the corners of the streets and suddenly we were thrown into each other, her breath against my face, as i found our lips inches from each other and she looked slightly mischievous before she grabbed my face with her cold hands and began kissing me. i melted at the instant her skin touched mine and grabbed her bottom lip between my teeth, sucking as she moaned. i pressed her against the window by her shoulders and felt her push back against me slightly trying to regain control, but i was stronger and i could tell she liked it. i felt the gaze of the cabbie's eyes in the mirror as i sucked on her tongue and her hands pulled my hair, but i didn't care. the windows began to mist over as she bit her lip to keep from moaning while i sucked on her neck, and my hands pushed their way beneath her layers of clothing and met her warm body quivering beneath them. she pulled my head closer to her mouth and whispered in my ear "i want you" as my hands began to roam her body. i kissed her neck, chin and collarbone as my hands caressed her breasts, squeezing her nipples between my fingertips. "fuck" she moaned arching her back, pushing herself against me. the cab jerked suddenly as the cabbie's eyes were glued to the backseat, instead of the road, giving her the advantage over me, so she pushed back against me and i fell against the seat as she straddled me, smiling. with her hands against my shoulders she leaned down and kissed me passionately while my i wrapped my hands around her waist, then dug my nails into her back causing her to bite down hard on my lip. the taste of blood mingled between our tongues as she sucked on my lip and her hands went up my shirt. i grabbed her ass as i felt her begin to grind against me. i unbuttoned her jeans with one hand and slowly put my hand between her legs, feeling her soaking wet, as she gasped and looked down at me. she leaned over to kiss me as i drew circles on her clit with my fingers. her hand pushed my fingers inside of her as she moaned. i felt myself get wet as they became immersed in her sweet stickyness. "shit" i said biting my lip as she moved against my fingers faster and i pushed deeper inside. "more" she said still grinding against my fingers, so i slid another finger inside of her as i heard the cabbie on his walkie talkie say "you guys aren't going to believe this shit". "sure you can take more?" i asked her pushing another finger inside of her as she moaned and rode against my fingers, harder getting wetter and wetter. she leaned over and bit my neck as i slowly curled my fingers up inside her, tucked in my thumb and began fisting her. i felt her teeth dig deep into my shoulder as she moaned and relaxed her muscles so that i could dig further inside of her. she whimpered in my ear clinging to me as the heat between our bodies became entangled in sweat drenched clothes. i pumped my fist slowly in and out of her until i felt her muscles tighten up & her body begin to shake. her cum dripped all around my fingers and i waited for her to stop shaking as i slowly pulled my hand out of her. she looked me dead in the eye as she sucked each and every finger dry and i felt my clit throb, as i tried to close my legs. "um we're....here. ride's on me. seriously," the cabbie said out of breath as we both looked up at him & then at the brownstone outside the window. she climbed off me and we straightened our clothes. "wanna come up?" she said smiling devilishly. "why not?" i said smiling back as we excited the cab for round II.

Rant.

It's a pretty important decision...not sure how comfortable I am though. I just hope things don't change & lines don't get crossed.

[untitled]

Constant vowels, consonants & hard syllables
I'm lost in maze of verbs, adjectives & nouns that tell me everything and nothing at the same time
I'm hearing another language for the first time
And its as if the sounds were made for my ears, the passion meant for my heart
But my tongue still trying to catch up and keep on track
With the conjugation of these letters that form that words that have become pieces of my life
I'm destined to touch each sound with the taste of desire, echoing as if each time it would be more faint
So I'm cut & pasted with ink papered stories of yesterday, today appearing like symbols in Arabic on a yellowing pad of paper
& the stench of empty promises glaze over eyes
That remember how to see what ears failed to hear the first time around
Pure bullshit.

- untitled -

Words caught between the world outside and the world on the other side of doors that slam and tongues that still mentioning her love
It's validation desecrated by verses on stale pages to a pink deity whose reincarnation gave hate its most triumphant force - the human race
Race to the finish line and if no one is
there with her, she's made it
Made it so that no one could be close behind, too close to find all
The shattered mirrors because the sight of who she's become was never who she was
It's as if she lives two lives, two lies, too much about herself lost in the emptiness behind those two eyes
And her soul slips away from her body into the night like a silent thief
It wasn't hers to barter and keep
So smiles and empty words about the boyfriend she'll never have with the white picket fence, mother shes crying out to you between verse and nights of tear stained pillows
Asking you to hold her again like that day when you gave birth to your biggest accomplishment turned disappointment because the love your seed feels for another is from a garden where you feel nothing could possibly grow
No one could possibly know the shame and confusion she feels chasing your dreams even though she's never closed her eyes and seen anything but darkness trying to conjure up images of the lies that split her tongue into two like a serpent
Words replaced by a hiss, imbalanced duality caused this, slithering and writhing beneath the layers of hardened regret and yesterday's kiss
A lover left standing wondering who is this
But the question hangs in the air thick like smoke choked from the lungs of one who has never mastered the art of pretending

.the age of disrespect.

I try and try to wrap my head around the reasons people seek attention outside of their "seemingly" perfect relationships. What is accomplished by flirting and getting your head/ego blown up by someone other than the person you are dating? What is the point of hiding friendships that you know aren't just "friendships" from your significant other because you just have to have those conflict causing individuals in your phone, on your facebook, twitter, tumblr, instagram. What's really interesting is why so many people who are out to ruin your relationship have that much access to you at all -- even more curious is why you continue to entertain them after you've been warned.

Most of us who get cheated on (physically and/or emotionally) are usually the ones who'd give our fuckin left lung for the person we are dating, yet it's never reciprocated. Sure, we get pacified with "we're just friends" and "he/she doesn't like me" yet no matter where you turn those barnacle people are still clinging to the rungs of your relation-ship that is slowly sinking into the murky waters of distrust.

Perhaps if they hadn't already been caught in numerous lies in regards to these people, the trust would be there. Just break up. That's what everyone says, but when you try to break it off, no one ever wants to let you leave. After you've invested so much and have done nothing to deserve the wandering eye, you almost want a refund. Like can I get back some sort of emotional reparations for the time, energy and tears I've spent during these years with you? So lemme get this straight, I'm supposed to trust (after trust has been broken multiple times over a few years), pretend your interactions with these people you've crossed lines with in the past are just "friendly" and not wonder who you're texting, tweeting, tumblr'ing with at all hours of the night and just be cool with it all?

Is it the age of disrespect? Literally and chronologically. It's funny, when I was growing up no one sat on the internet day in and day out. In fact you didn't use the internet to date, meet people or cheat. People interacted face to face. One on one. Flesh to flesh. This younger generation is moving at a pace their little brains cannot even comprehend. The drugs, sex, music and inability to communicate without symbols or using ridiculous acronyms is a clear indicator that we've long gone past the time where connecting with each other actually meant something. Socially awkward in person, yet online they create personas, photoshop each and every part of their body until it becomes a collage of what they think is everyone's favorite "eye candy"...no identity and no hope. No originality, no loyalty and no clue what it means to have genuine friendships or relationships. 16 and pregnant. He loves me. Then he loves me not and leaves and now these kids are babies raising babies. I can't help but think so many different facets of society brought things to this point.

As a person who grew up when kids used to still play outside and didn't sit in front of a television all day, it's hard to navigate the friendship as well as the dating scene. People are very different now. Two people can be friends or even in a relationship sitting in the same room, but you'd never know because both are face deep in their new "i do everything but fuck you" phones and other devices. Why read a book when you have another device for that? Why even talk to anyone because more than likely every expensive piece of technology you own will talk back to you if you ask it a question? What does all of this mean? And why do I feel it's made so many of us desensitized and heartless to the point where we'd snap a picture of a celebrity in a coffin for an undisclosed amount of money and post it on the internet just for fame? What is wrong with people and why don't they care anymore?

I guess I'm just old-fashioned because I want that old school, Brown Sugar, "you're the perfect verse over a tight beat" kinda love. I don't feel like it exists anymore except in the movies. There is an overabundance of love movies now because we all crave that closeness, that togetherness that we've lost in all the static. I've seen this more in dating those that are younger than me. My argument of not sitting in the same room for 6 hours on opposite sides on the computer or phone after we haven't seen or barely had contact with each other all day is lost in a bunch of "I just want to relax" hymns. How in the fuck can you relax if your eyes are glued to your phone clicking on eight different social networking sites and the tv is going with some mindless reality show on? We are overstimulated to the point that human interaction no longer stimulates us the way it used to -- for some, I think it bores them. So then your relationship becomes background noise to all the excitement that the pretend people online bring to the glazed eyes of the person you thought you loved.

Now I'm sure this happens to people who date older people as well because for so many the only way to get exposure, be seen and have a "voice" (if you will) is by parading yourself around online for the world to see just how awesome you are at all times of the day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You're sick and with a push of a button and the click of a cameraphone flash, the whole world will electronically see your pouting, but poised "sick" face over a bowl of chicken soup and immediately shower you with the attention that your significant other who's at work can't. What they fail to realize is that people who are always available to like every photo, comment on every post & be over the top sycophants lack the ability to perform in "real life." Real life translates to that place where you have to interact face to face, where instead of commenting on chicken soup, you're the person who actually made it for the person posting the picture. Instead of sucking their teeth at the photos of you OUT with the person you are dating, they could be trying to create a life with memories and a relationship of their own -- but they don't. They sit at home and electronically begin to type into the heart of your loved ones when you're not around. Sure we all like to hear that we are great and attractive, but what I ask is "at what cost?" What is really worth it to lie and conceal inappropriate relationships with people who simply seek the same attention you do? Half the time when people leave the one that loved them, for the one that acts like a groupie, they find out very quickly that loyalty died when they crossed that bridge. If he/she is spending hours flirting with you, can you not assume that they are doing the same to 10, 20 maybe 50 other people if this all they do all day long? Most of them don't even have anything to offer your significant other and realistically can't compete, but the lure of "attention" proves to be more enticing than anything that your love, loyalty or stability can offer them.

No relationship is perfect -- and nobody is perfect, but don't we all deserve a chance at happiness, free from the stain of infidelity, mistrust and the need to always be some place where you think the grass is greener? I don't want to look over my shoulder to see where my Love is. I want my Love walking beside me as we look forward, together.

.shooting star.

Moments pass by like raindrops hurling toward their destiny at full speed
Slow down they say but time is already escaping us as words form and lay
Every second is slipping away
When today becomes tomorrow
And your thoughts become tangled, muddled and stained
with what you didn't say

Like a shooting star I want to blaze through your realm and illuminate everything within my path
If only for a short while
Bring heat where there were no flames
And reclaim the darkness where fallen dreams were slain

I'm almost there, I'm becoming dimmer as I get closer to the ground, closer to the roots that hold the inability to change in their design - firm and resolute
So I'll disappear into the night, but
I'm always a light upon your face
A time when space was undefined and ablaze with a living memory.

[closing in]

Its like my mind is erased, inside and out grey, blank and full of promise I promise what comes next will only be an epiphany of what used to be used to be used to me but now i'm not so sure who this is anymore its like an old memory

send shockwaves like earthquakes through linear space time and nervous sista rhyme rhyme? Rhyme

it's inconspicious and laced with a thin line of acidic haze blind purple and funkadelic and in its prime a thought caught between two signs take two steps forward to only be two steps behind i'm fine

as I grab the mic and make reproductive verbal spines up and down the backs of those who find words grab ahold of them and make up for lost time it's reminiscent of that darkened corner's mine

[untitled]

my fingertips slide in between the motion of her hips imagining tracing the curves of her moistened lips i'm climbing inside of each rhythm and creating a song within the moans from her throat and the arches of her back making love is a song many claim to know, but never have heard

so I travel the melody and the chorus through the tender strings that bring her skin to my touch and I think I hear some words repeat and find solace in their groove it's a place I could go over and over again until her moans become small breaths that inhale and exhale the moments that stole them the peak of a climax that settled in between the mountains brown flesh, rest and perspire

passion, a thirst caught between desire and action motion and sensory distraction it's indescribable and lingering hanging there between a word left unsaid and a verse written instead