"untitled"

these are the saddest words you’ll never hear me say
perhaps you’ll walk into a bookstore one day
hand in hand
with the next love of your life
and she’ll be holding her stomach, with her other hand, her unborn addition to your infinite happiness waiting to arrive
and she will smile at you as you turn over a book,
a book you can’t explain why you’re drawn to, but it’s a book of poems
and you flip to a page
and these words spill from the edges of it
like my tears falling as I write
and you remember without hesitation that
you were once mine
and I was once yours
and these words
and this space
between us
are merely that of circumstance
and you'll pause
she’ll watch you and grab your arm while asking
if you’re “okay”, concern lining the creases
in her unknowing face
and you'll say
“I’m fine, just fine” then you'll put my heart
back on the shelf
and walk away
again

.nausea.

i push the feeling down
as a wave of nausea and expectation rise
at the base of my throat
i’m ill over the idea of you

lost in my thoughts because my lips
refuse to part
i don’t want a single sound to escape
or you’ll know
and my eyes wander in the distance
over your head, anywhere but into the gaze of your eyes
no point in you seeing the way I feel
if my words will never catch up

you captivate me and even as these letters
become another word in reference to you
i still can’t speak
my tongue longs for the day when
it can whisper my passions
into your ear

a lover's words

I caught her dream there, nestled between fingertips brushing strands of hair from moments of deep thoughts perspiration

A smile rather than words to emit a feeling unspoken to deceive a worried lover's hesitation, with eyes that seemed to search beyond their locked gaze

It's been dangling on the edge of her lips like an old cigarette...stale, yellow & stained with a second fix of an emotion's addiction, not yet ready to confront

A destiny's design fraught with uncertainty in love & life
So we lay, still in the darkness hands & bodies searching for a deeper meaning within one another

It's cold & unfriendly in the world beyond these 4 walls, caged security stifling our ability to grow, our desire to know
A life in which we've only seen asleep or on tv, reality more of a nightmare-ish dream

Hands intertwined, clasped, holding firm until slumber takes her away from me
Fingers slipping away until they merely rest against my skin
Moonlight illuminates the innocence in her sleepy face
I run my thoughts across her cheeks, kiss the tears that fall unbeknownst to her mind awake behind closed eyes
I fear the morning will greet us with promise, yet she will only see wasted time, wasted lines between a lover's words & the distance grows closer on the horizon

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