This heart...

This heart is inexplicably devoid of the saturation of human lust, trust
If loins, not love, could penetrate my chambers instead of gut wrenching romance
This dance between lovers limbs, whims, brights and dims, could lead me through the dark
And find the way back to me again
Save face from the hurt and pain again
Damn this tangled mess of emotional threads, hanging overhead, like a beaten cloud ready to bend
Bend, pour and flood even more
The sweet turns sour and you can't remember that good feeling before
Chance turns to fate and repeat offenders continue to commit crimes, spit lines, and nestle in the confines
Of your wilting soul, heart decayed, rotting, stinking for the world to see displayed
The end was the beginning if the first time is already the last
And if you want to know the truth of the matter, there's no one left to ask

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Happy 4/12 birthday to me...

I'm awake

I'm awake with the morning sun, the birds and the sky
But inside I sleep in the restlessness of my troubled soul
The earth pulled beneath my feet, my cries a soft moan amidst voices in the crowd
I'm here but I don't really exist anymore
My heart beats but doesn't keep me alive
The thunder of my feelings roars and breaks through the morning blue
Rain falls gently then faster upon my face
This is the storm I've been waiting to create
Others scramble for cover but I stand still, soaked in my own reproach
Silenced by my own tongue, my own emotions, my own doing
I'm unraveling thread by thread
I'm falling away from me

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