scraped

I want to climb inside my head and chase away the thoughts of yesterday
I want to scrape you from the lining of my heart and watch you bleed into a puddle
Of forgotten memories
I can’t
I can’t today
So tired of carrying these broken pieces on my back in this burlap sack
Like any adhesive could repair the damage you’ve done
Like any one else wouldn’t burn under the weight of these acidic tears
And smeared ink fears

Run after those memories in my thoughts only to catch them
And remember why I didn’t want to see them before me
Feel them adore me
And break down my resolve to let you go
But you smile back at me here
You already know

Rubber cemented yourself in between the layers of my pores
And within the scars that hid behind laughter
You found me in that small space, carried me out, sat me beside you
And saw love’s caged curiousity spring forth with life
Right there, right then
You knew I loved you
And I hated you for that
You knew I’d never let go

Prying your words from around my throat with vice grips of reason
Air starts to fill my lungs, but the mental photographs won’t pass
Closing my eyes willing them to be burned with my darkness
but it disappoints me
I chastise you in that silence
I can’t
I can’t today

It hurts to feel
It hurts to be