- untitled -

Every day I see this life I
Could have had
Wanted to have
Dreamt of
And now when I
Fall asleep
Nightmares attack my soul
And make my spirit weep

Try to remember a time when laughter and
Hope
Love and no fear
Pieces of me, the good pieces
They were still there

Now I peel from the corners of my existence
Like cheap paint
Renovated for the next experience
For the next time
I fall

I hold myself tight to keep
Any more of me from escaping
I close my eyes and will today
To become yesterday
To become the day before
To become the day that love
Gave me life
And I could breathe
The air here is no good

I wait in darkness
I wait for you

a poem.

At first it was a glance, a word, a sentence
A paragraph
Now you’ve become a poem

I waved away words with a shake of my head
Occupied my time, my tongue and my pen
Slept away your memory, dreamt away your smile
If I could escape this obsession
For just a little while

One by one the things I felt, saw, tasted and touched
Became a part of my love for you
My story of you
Reincarnated from that of someone I loved a thousand times
Before
Before I leapt into the dark abyss of emotion
And swam across the river of uncertainty
With hope that you would love me again
As you had so many times before

I scribbled my name on the inside of
Your palm
Remember me now
And always

But if by chance our ability
To recall our passion with just a look fails us
You’ve got a word, a sentence, a paragraph
Now you’ve become a poem
So read

american lie.

Trying to become immune from this sickness
White America
This badge you’ve sewn into the very fabric of my being
Branded before, during and after birth
This skin makes me less than a second class citizen
My gender makes me less than the opposite sex
My sexuality has thrown me from the frying pan
Into the fire

Climbing my way up the food chain only
To see that links are missing
And time is running out
I’ll starve before I make it
Before I nourish my aching soul
And wounded pride
Fuck you America
The American Dream is
A Technicolor lie

Skin burning as I smile, fighting through
The urges to smash a face into the concrete
My fists balled at my sides, waiting just waiting
For life to strike another blow
But I’m almost down for the count how can I compete

Falling faster into this downward spiral of
Self-despair and hurt mixed with a dash of hate
Hate this life I’ve been given but unable to live
When I know my worth, my talent
And every drop of me that I can give

But I’m feeling ill because my insides
Are twisted and my brain is tormenting me
Whether awake or in slumber
As I watch the morals of society crumble

Catching pieces of who I was, who I could have been
And what I think I’d like to be
Watching them fall between the cracks
It’s dark and cold
But at least I’m not alone